dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
