She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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