absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
