let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
