you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
