Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
