We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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