his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
