we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
