Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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