so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
