white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
