I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
