who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
