His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
