well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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