no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Randomize
