guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
