Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
