I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
