soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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