This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
