You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
