I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We are all done wearing pants today
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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