I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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