We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
