PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
