Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
