So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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