Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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