If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
