yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
