He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
