My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
ok first of all what the fuck
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
