GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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