So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
someone owes me an orgasm
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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