I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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