Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
