I think i peed on brittanys purse
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
