Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
