She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Who died my cat blue again?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
