I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
