This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
