he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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