It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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