The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
