I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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