I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
