At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
