He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
