after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
