you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You're like the curious george of whores
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
